I am sure that all West Coast Swing dancers do whips. The question is, do they really “whip”, or are they just going through the motion.  Last night at our weekly class, we spent the entire class doing nothing but two whips and honestly almost everyone was struggling.it wasn’t that they weren’t going through the motion and footwork correctly, it was that they were missing a key ingredient that actually creates the whip itself.

To create an actual whipping motion, both leader and follower need to have compression in the connection of the followers right arm and the leaders left. I am not sure exactly how to explain a “feeling”, but done correctly there is actually a whipping motion. Once you have experienced a whip done properly you will never go back to just walking through a whip again!

I am so confused! For the past two years I’ve been concentrating on learning a variety of swing & country dances. About a week ago, the ballroom dance club held a 2-day dance workshop. I signed up for the Saturday classes in which they taught ballroom waltz and the rumba. After the workshop, they held a ballroom dance with a free Bolero lesson.

I loved them……………….I mean I really loved them! I am so confused now! Which direction do I go, what do I learn next……….help me please. I’m afraid to try anything else new, or I’ll just be more confused. I want to learn them all! I love every kind of dance I’ve ever tried, well maybe with the exception of one, but I’m not going to tell which one that is, because I know many who do love it. So even if I eliminate that one, there are dozen’s more I love. I know there are many dancers who stick with just one dance and become very, very good at it and I do envy the fact that they are so good…………but………..I love too many to just pick one or even two. I guess I’ll just have to resign myself to being a jack of many dances……master of none! Not sure that is all that bad.

Last night, at the monthly ballroom dance, I had the chance to talk with a friend who has been dancing about as long as I have. I was explaining (more likely complaining) to her how hard it has been for me to learn balance (still working on it). She responded “You too? I thought it was just me.” I explained to her that both Ras#1 and I have had to work extra hard to overcome our natural tendency towards klutziness.

Her comment reminded me of all the times I have been frustrated, nearly to the point of quitting, thinking that I was the only one having trouble learning some facet or another of dancing. Well, it isn’t so! Sure, there are those beginners who just have that natural grace and talent that allows them to learn with ease. And then there are the rest of us, some of us with more talent, some with more grace, and some of us with just desire and determination. So, while these occasions can be frustrating and even depressing, take comfort in that you ARE NOT ALONE! Others now and before you have shared the same fears, frustrations and even despair while attempting to learn how to dance. Ras#1 and I have both been and sometimes continue to be there and while we continue in our quest to become better dances, always remember…..even those of us with no god-given graceful attributes can learn to dance!

You’ve finally taken that big step and committed yourself to learning to dance. And there you are…………standing in the middle of a dance floor with numerous other folks trying to remember how to do just the basic steps. Hmmmm, you say to yourself….I think I’ve got it. The, the instructor asks you to do the same steps to music and…poof…..everything you thought you had just learned is gone. You look around and everyone seems to have gotten it, everyone that is but you!  While that might appear to be the case, in actuality, it’s likely not. Some of those other dancers have probably taken the class before and are just brushing up on their skills, others have natural dance skills, while the remainder, like you, your just not seeing. In spite of your fears, you take a deep breath and forge ahead. By the end of the class you are feeling reasonably comfortable that you can do the steps illustrated in class and move to the side of the dance floor, now open to all dancer. You hope (or not) someone will ask you to dance and you will be able to practice you new moves.You watch in awe as the experienced dancers glide around the dance floor, with moves you think only the pros could master, and wonder if you will ever be able to dance even half that well. Then, one of those dancers ask if you would like to dance………………..and a whole new nightmare begins! The color drains from your face, you start to sweat, your stomach starts rolling and you feel like you might throw up……but you say yes. Out on the floor you wish you could just disappear into the floor and never be seen again, you apologize profusely to your dance partner and pray for the song to end. It does…… and round two begins…………..

Take Survey Now.

SCORING:

• 9 or more. Mayday, mayday. Houston, we have a serious dance problem. Don’t be surprised if your friends organize an intervention to confront you with your addiction. You can deal with problem directly by checking your phone book for the local 12-step-hop program in your area.
• 6-8. You’re a borderline dance-aholic. With some effort on your part you can take back control of your life without outside help. It may be enough to cut out dancing between dance classes.
• 3-5. Not to worry. You’re one of those social dancers. You can take it or leave it. You can walk off the dance floor anytime. Dance-aholics view you with suspicion.
• 0-2. Are you kidding? Are you taking this test as a joke? You probably don’t know a step-hop from a pivot. Get outta here — you wouldn’t even watch dance-related television programs!

As dancers, how about we make a pact to try and transform all of those couch potato addicts into Dance Addicts?

Many years ago a friend and I met in Las Vegas. One of our typical hangouts has always been the lounge in the Bellagio. The band is terrific and when they take a break you can go out on to the veranda and watch the fountain show from the backside, which is equally as amazing as watching it from the front.

Usually we spend many hours there, dancing the night away. On this particular visit, we sat and watched, discouraged and envious. Normally there are all types of dancers on the dance floor and we never felt the least bit intimidated. On this particular evening, it seemed as though we had been dropped right into the middle of an Arthur Murray dance studio. Everyone on the dance floor was partner dancing as though they had been dancing together their entire lives. We watched in awe as the partners and dances kept changing to the music, and wondered what had happened since the last time we were there. They were having so much fun, and while we enjoyed watching them, we were both thinking the same thing……….I want to do that! My envy turned to desire, I was no longer envious, and I became inspired.

What we learned, while commiserating on the veranda, was that there was a Ballroom Dance Convention in town for the weekend. Something that I never even knew existed. A world of dance. People just like me, not just the professional dancers that you see on TV, but everyday regular Joe’s. It was right then and there that I decided that I was going to learn to dance.

After returning home from that trip, I did not immediately start dancing. I did not have a partner and I really didn’t know what to do. While my excuses slowed me down, they did not quench my thirst. Several years went by and the desire to learn to dance just increased. “Dancing with the Stars” became a phenomenon and my feet became more restless. I moved from southern Ca to Idaho and said, “Self, you have always wanted to learn to dance, there is no time like the present”! Luckily, I stumbled upon a Cha Cha class at our local recreation center. I went alone and have never looked back. Dance is the greatest gift I have ever given myself.

For those of you like me, that have many excuses and reasons why NOT to dance, here are a few really good reasons TO learn to dance.

1. It is Fun!

2. It’s great exercise for the body, mind and spirit.

3. It’s a great way to make new friends.

4. It builds confidence and makes you feel good.

5. It relieves stress.

And did I mention that it is so much FUN?

Let me help you get started, so you don’t waste any more time. Often the most difficult part of doing something new and different is knowing where to begin. You have many options. Let’s compare them and you can decide what works best for you.

The quickest way to learn to dance is to take private, one on one instruction. It is expensive, but affords you the opportunity to progress at a quick pace. I have personally paid $50 – $85 per “dance” hour (which can be anywhere from 45-60 minutes), and have seen prices as high as $150 per “dance” hour. I feel that it is money well spent. I would recommend being careful and selective in choosing a dance instructor. (More on this in another article)

Group lessons are an alternative to private lessons. Most private instructors also teach group lessons. They are much more affordable and often a stepping stone to “interviewing” a dance instructor, that you may want to take private lessons from, after perfecting your basics. They typically cost $25-$55 for a 4-6 week course. You do not need a partner and will make many new friends. Group lessons are often taught at dance studios and local Recreation and Senior Centers. The atmosphere is non intimidating and fun.

Many cities and towns have local Swing Dance and Ballroom Dance organizations that offer monthly dances with a lesson prior to their dance. They are also a great way to find instructors and ongoing dance classes. These dances and lessons are generally $5-$10.

Organizations and dance studios may also offer weekend workshops. These can be overwhelming at first, but give a beginning dancer the opportunity learn and practice for many hours at a time, helping to develop muscle memory. I encourage you to sign up for the first weekend workshop that you can find. The typical cost is $40-$100 per weekend. They often coincide with membership drives. I encourage you to join the organizations and get on their email list. They will keep you informed to upcoming dance opportunities.

If you really want to indulge yourself, attend a convention. Make sure if you are a beginner, that they offer beginning instruction. Conventions offer intensive instruction and many hours of dance practice as well as competitions. The last one I attended, I danced until 4 am every night, and when I left the dance floor, it was still packed! At a convention you will have the opportunity to watch and dance with incredibly talented dancers. Keep in mind, that the only difference between you and them is time and effort. Conventions typically cost $100 plus for 3 or more days. They are worth every cent!

Local bars, pubs and lounges often offer free dance lessons several night a week. Check them out and make a few phone calls. You are sure to find them.

Online instruction and DVD’s are another alternative to learning to dance if there is no instruction available or if you are intimidated or self conscious. It is also a great way to reinforcement all of the above suggestions. Remembering what you learned in your lesson is very difficult in the beginning. Do not become discouraged! It gets easier, I promise.

You can find excellent online instruction at www.LearntoBallroomDanceOnline.com

If you have a desire to learn to dance, do not allow anything to stop you. I hope that the above suggestions will help to move your feet onto the nearest dance floor.

Happy Dancing,

Ras #1

Any of you who have ever had the chance to be thrilled with the discovery of a place to dance while traveling out of town and felt shock and awe, not in the sense of military doctrine regarding overwhelming power, rather, in the realization that the quality of dancing was frightening, would understand what I’m talking about! Ras #1 and I discovered such a place….Tuesday 2-step was our agenda for the night! Now….don’t get me wrong….I’m not claiming to be a great dancer, in fact, I’m still on the huge upward learning curve, so, on that basis, you may have an understanding of how sad the dancing really was.

Now, Ras #1 and I have attempted on a few occasions to play the man’s part (lead) of the dance team, usually when there is no-one to else to dance with, and country 2-step is one of those we have attempted to dance the boy (oops, I mean man)-part. The fact that, while playing the man part, we were about as good at dancing as most of the men on the dance floor, and better than some, just proved how bad it was. DO NOT DESPAIR! DO NOT GIVE UP! More that likely you can find better dancing material in your area, you may just have to look longer and harder and/or drive further.

Ras #1 and I decided, right then and there, that we would never again complain about dancing in our own locale………..that is, until we attended the Palm Springs Swing Dance Classic……………………but that’s another blog for another time.

The New Year started with a bang, or should I say a splash or two, or three, of champagne, while dancing the night away at the Palm Springs Swing Dance Classic. After five days of dancing and workshops, Ras #1 and I have so much to talk about, that we have actually been in a “quandary” (not to be mistaken for “at a loss of words”), as where to begin. So, rather than sit and stew, I thought I would just pull one subject out of the hat……hmmm……what is it going to be? I suppose that I will talk about the subject that stands out the most, and that would be………how one dancer can make another dancer feel. I’m not just talking about whether or not you were able to follow or lead during you dance or whether or not you were making eye contact with your partner while dancing with them, but were you smiling? And I am talking about smiling from the inside out. As a dancer, I can tell you that I can “feel” another dancers’ smile!

For those of you who are new to dancing, it is important to make eye contact with your dance partner, while not staring at them. Dancing with a partner who either stares at you, or at the opposite extreme looks at everyone else, on and off the dance floor, with the exception of you, is very uncomfortable. Focusing on your partner while you are dancing increases your awareness of how they’re moving and what they are doing and makes your partner feel like you are actually part of a dance team. In addition to focusing on your partner………smile! Social dancing should be fun. A snobby, arrogant attitude based upon anything, including your superior dance skills (if they indeed exist), is inconsiderate and very intimidating, particularly to a beginner. Considering how passionate dancers are about dancing, we should be doing everything in our power to encourage others to discover the joy that can be achieved from dancing. Joy, now that is an interesting word…it may sound like corny verbiage attached to dancing, but Ras #1 and I are here to tell you……………..dancing is pure “Joy”. The more we dance…..the more joy we experience and the more we want to dance. Yes, it is a vicious, addictive cycle!

One more thing I want to add is….….when you have a genuine smile on your face, your parnter “feels” it, not just “sees” it, it’s like putting the icing on the cake.

We danced with one particular gentleman in Palm Springs, who we’d previously met and danced with. I am here to tell you that dancing with Mark is simply, pure joy! Every dance that man dances, he smiles, with his entire being! It is as though he is dancing the best dance he has ever danced! Dancing with him is pure “joy”. That is the kind of partner we aspire to be, the kind of partner that everyone should aspire to be!

Happy New Year and Enjoy,

Ras#2

Tonight was my Keller Williams Christmas Party. In my “spare” time, much to my dismay, I am a real estate agent, so instead of heading out to the dance floor, I headed to the party. And, as usual, I had no date, so Ras #2 agreed to come with me.

First things first………what to wear? OK, not dancing so that open backed, spaghetti strapped, really flowing, long black dress that is collecting dust in my closest finally gets its night out on the town.

Second, two white elephant gifts…………hbmmmm, isn’t there some sexy, brand new, tags still on, lingerie still hiding out in a drawer somewhere, waiting to be worn?  Yup, one down. Ohhhhh, look a silky black rode, too! And one more thing, all of that Cover Girl Makeup that I got for free with those coupons, that makes three, we are more than covered! That takes care of that. Perfect!

Third thing, directions……….leave that up to Ras #2. She beats me there, it’s snowing and cold. As I am driving I realize that I am starving! Those 4 Triscuit crackers just didn’t do the trick. I finally get there and we slip and slide, in our heels into the party.

First and most important stop, the buffet line. Now remember I am starving, so looking at those tiny little plates, I pick up two. The food looked and smelled great and by the time I reached the end of the line I had acquired another on of those tiny plates. Ras #2 is behind me and we head to the only open spot at the bar, I looked at her and she looked at me and we both started laughing….we had 6 plates of food! Needless to say, there were a few judgemental looks. Yes, we ate it all, and those that were giving us funny looks made MANY trips through the buffet line, I’m thinkin’ they were just wishin’ that they had been smart enough to grab a couple of plates the first time through. Then, just as we finished eating they actually started playing music and taped down a piece of vinyl, yes vinyl flooring to dance on. Whoo Hoo! Dancing after all. Good thing the dance shoes are always in the car.  A gentleman that I have seen at out dance club a few times asked me to dance a Night Club 2 Step and then a West Coast Swing. What do you know, there is even dancing at the Christmas party.

Next it was time for the gifts. I was lucky enough to pick out a picnic basket, you know the kind with two bottles of wine and wine glasses. My thought, being a single girl was……another relationship gone bad, another picnic basket rescued from the closet. Oh, well, I fared better than Ras #2, she picked a great big Santa candy dish……….no candy!(Don’t tell anyone, but we sneaked over and peeked in all the leftover bags and picked out one other “good” gift, each) So all is good.

Now, back to the dance floor I go. This time with a cowboy. Now I don’t do Country Swing often, because of all of the twisting and pulling and shoving, but it was Christmas and he wanted to dance. What I faile to remember was that I was in a backless, spaghetti strapped dress. And yes, you guessed it, Wardrobe Malfunction! One of those pretty little straps just popped and my dress nearly hit the floor! Thank goodness I have quick reflexes when it comes to public nudity. I managed to yank that dress up without scaring too many people!

I’m afraid that pretty little black dress is just going to have to get happy hanging in the closet.

Spaghetti Arms

Spaghetti Arms! aka Dance Frame, or lack there of it. This has to be one of the most important, yet difficult skill for a new dancer to master. And much to the disagreement of many, BOTH partners must have Frame. I often hear a leader complain that a follower has no frame and therefore he is unable to “lead” her. Which of course, is an accurate statement. However, I have danced with these “leaders” just to realize that they do not have “frame” either.

What they are referring to as their “frame”, is merely a lead, as in turn NOW! There is no constant tension or framework during the dance and the follower just receives “frame” when the leader is trying to initiate a pattern, turn or change of direction. So leaders, remember that frame must be “quiet” and “continuous” throughout a dance.

On the other hand ladies, it is our responsibility to offer a stable frame. One that is a constant, toned resistance, equal to that of our partner. It is typical when we first begin dancing to have Spaghetti Arms. Limp and loose. We then tend to go to the opposite extreme, a stiff and rigid frame. When you are a brand new dancer, there is just so much to remember, just try and take a deep breath and realize that you are dependent on “feeling” where and what a leader is telling your arms to do. Your arms move your body as one, not independently. Leaders, this goes for you, too.

I suggest that you find someone that you are familiar and friendly with. Someone that is able to laugh and experiment. Start by both of you having very weak limp spaghetti arms. You will feel the lack of connection immediately. You will realize that neither one of you will be able to communicate through your frame. Two people without frame will find it very difficult to move around the dance floor and execute any style of dance.

Next, one of you should be the noodle, the other, a stiff, strong, rigid frame. As you will notice, this does not work well either. The strong person will likely be shoving the other person off balance and the person with no frame will stumble around not knowing where he/she should be, or how to get there. Take turns being both extreme. You will begin to adjust and find a happy medium. One that works for both of you. You will understand and feel what it is like to dance with Mr. or Mrs. Vermicelli and you will NOT want to be that person! It is an absolute chore to dance with someone with no frame. Your arms become weak and tired, just from trying to hold up the others arms, during a dance. It is not fun and is well worth the practice to find and maintain your frame. Once you find your frame, you will be able to adjust to most any dancer.

You can practice this equal and opposite resistance with anyone, they do not have to be a dancer. I found that I was able to even get my 15 year old son, who would rather cut off his feet than dance, to match my resistance and create a stable frame. I was able to move his body through his frame and he was able to move mine. For him it came naturally, for me, it did not!

So, a few tips. Stand opposite of each other. Hold each others hands and create an oval. Take turns “moving” each other. Observe what you are doing and how the other persons’ body reacts. Do not allow your elbows to collapse and keep them in front of you. Learn to allow your frame to move your body.

I believe that we all vacillate from one extreme to the other, before finally feeling or understanding what Dance Frame really is.

Good Luck and keep fine tuning your Dance Frame, the more adept you become, the more fun dancing will be!

Ballroom Dance

If you have yet to stick your toe into a dance shoe, and hit the dance floor, then you will likely be as confused as I was, when I decided that I had waited too long to learn to dance. I had no idea just how many styles of dance there were, and I do not profess to even know now, however I do know that Ballroom, Swing and Salsa are very often, all danced at the same venue.

Tonight I was at our local USA Ballroom Dance. I danced Tango, Foxtrot, Waltz, Hustle, Night Club Two Step, Cha Cha, East Coast Swing, Mambo, Salsa and Rhumba. Quite a variety, wouldn’t you agree?

Last night it was a Swing Club Dance. We danced West Coast Swing, East Coast Swing, Country Two Step, Country Waltz, Night Club Two Step, Hustle, Cha Cha and a Triple Step Progressive.

Swing Dance

I suppose that the easiest way to describe the biggest difference, in my opinion, is that Ballroom Dance is “formal” and Swing Dance and Salsa are more lighthearted and “informal”.

Now here is the part that I find interesting. It is my perception that Swing people often think that Ballroom is a bit too stuffy. Ballroom people often thing that Swing is a bit too lackadaisical and I think that Ballroom and Swing dancers perceive Salsa dancers to be a bit too saucy.

In my opinion, I love them all! As long as there is music playing and someone to dance with, I am up for the challenge. I think that I would become bored if I only danced one style of dance. Maybe I am A.D.D.? But there are many people out there that are a strictly one dance, and one dance only type. My suggestion to those of you who are new to the world of dance is to give them all a fair shake. You may be surprised to find yourself, like me a total crossover to all of the dances. I find that I go in spurts and often have new favorites. I also find that there are many similarities in all of the dances. Besides, the more versatile you are the more opportunities that you have to dance!

I would love to hear what your favorite dances are, mine are currently Cha Cha and Country Two step. Of course, next week that might change!

Happy Dancing,

Ras #1

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. My son and his family asked if it would be all right to invite their friends. The more the merrier in my opinion, so of course I said yes.

Needless to say, the girls spent most of the time in the kitchen, while the boys were rockin’ out to Rock Band. Of course that means that there is music playing. Without even realizing what I was doing, one of my guests said, “Are you a dancer?”, I looked at here and said, “Yes, why do you ask?”. She said it was because I was spinning and turning all over the kitchen! She also said that she used to dance, (before the baby, now another on the way) and that she used to do the same thing. We also talked about how dance just gets into your soul and makes your heart sing!

Which leads me to this realization. You can practice dance anywhere and everywhere. I obviously turn from one end of my kitchen to the other, without even realizing it, I also practice traveling turns going down the hall and across the room. One of the easiest exercises to practice is one that will help you with your center.

If you are wondering what I am talking about, you are not alone. I did not have a clue what people were talking about when they referred to my “center” or “core”. And I am not really sure how to explain it to you, other than to say that while dancing it is very important for you to have your weight centered over your feet at all times. You must always be prepared to move in any direction at any time.

Here are a few exercises that you can practice no matter where you are. Like standing in a line, or waiting for the microwave, stirring something on the stove, drying your hair……..you get the idea.

These are BALANCE EXERCISES that will help to strengthen your coordination, muscles, and reflexes.

First one, stand on both feet on a hard surface, knees slightly bent. Slowly lift one leg, leaving all of your weight on one foot. Have your weight between the heel and the ball of your foot equally, with more weight on the inside of the foot. You will find that you will need to adjust your weight until you find the place where you are completely stable. This can require quite a bit of practice and adjustment, but once you master that “sweet spot” you will find that the next time, you will settle into that spot much more quickly and naturally. It will become second nature and comfortable. Practice taking turns on each foot. Once you become “stable” try adding movement. Wave your arms and your free leg. Remember the Karate Kid ?
Keep your awareness on the position of your mid-foot. This helps you build calf strength, which is also needed for dance balance.

Another important aspect of centering yourself requires knowing and seeing where you are. Do not fall into the habit of dancing through glazed eyes. Focus your eyes, find your “point of reference” sometimes it will be your partner, other times it will be where you are traveling to. To demonstrate what I am saying, stand barefoot with BOTH FEET TOUCHING. then roll up to the balls of your feet and balance there. Once you have your balance perfect… close your eyes. Do you feel yourself have to stretch to keep your balance? Now open your eyes and focus. See the difference, see how important our vision is in helping us to find our balance? Practice using your eyes, it will help you stay on your feet, and where you are supposed to be. Now continue to practice standing on the balls of your feet. One at a time, and both together. Spread your toes creating a “tripod”. Use the ball of your foot right behind your big toe, your big toe and little baby pinky toe to create the tripod.

Remembering to practice all of these little tips will help to improve your balance, find your center or core and bring your dancing to a higher level.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, as for me, I am headed to the dance floor to work off all of that extra stuffing and gravy I ate! Swing Dancing tonight, Ballroom Dancing tomorrow night, what more can a girl ask for? Oh, yeah, a willing partner???

Happy Dancing,

Michele

Friday night, after my private dance lesson with Mario Robau, Ras #2 and I headed down to “Shorty’s”, another Boise Honky Tonk. Not long after we got there, practically all of the other dancers’ dispersed. As usual, Ras #2 and I were left standing there, looking at each other. Just as we were deciding what to do a gentleman walked up and asked if he could West Coast Swing dance with me. Now, having had this happen before, I did not know what to expect, so I headed to the dance floor a bit apprehensive.

Much to my delight, not only was the gentleman, aka Robert, a wonderful dancer, it turns out that he is also a great guy! Ras #2 and I spent the entire evening (and weekend) dancing with him. We took turns, so we got a break. He, on the other hand, or should I say foot, must have been exhausted! He never complained and just kept dancing. The band was good, the DJ was better, and we had the whole dance floor to ourselves. What more can a dancing girl ask for! Seems that he was in town for the Mario Robau workshop, and heard that Shorty’s was where the dancers’ would be hanging out. Once again, dancers’ all speak the same language.

Thank you, Robert for the best Friday dance night I have had in a really long time!

Beer Goggles

While it is proper etiquette to dance when asked, there are appropriate times when it is all right to politely decline. In other words, it’s OK, to say no. Generally you wouldn’t say no, just because someone is less experienced than you, or you don’t like the outfit they have on, or even if they have bad breath. (although you might want to share a mint or two) But it is perfectly acceptable to say no if someone has had too much to drink, or if they are inappropriate in any way.

I have had the good fortune to experience both of these happy occasions. One night, not long ago, down at the local honky tonk, a “regular” asked me to dance. Now this particular dude, is a fan of seeing just how many rotations he can get a lady to do, during one song. Kind of like the tea cups at Disneyland. The first time I actually danced with him, I got off the dance floor and was so nauseated that I had to go home. Now however, I can spin like a top. But back to the valid reason to just say “no”: Within a few seconds into our dance, I realized that Mr. Twirly Man was having a bit of a problem standing on his own two feet. Fortunately for me, I figured this out rather quickly and was able to do damage control and self preservation well enough to walk us both off the dance floor in one piece, no injuries.

Ras #2 (Cindy) was not quite so lucky………..I saw Mr. Twirly Man heading right towards her, before I could maneuver my way across the room to warn her, it was too late, and there they were, right in the middle of the dance floor….. I feared for the worst and was not disappointed (ok, evil side of me)….. Once, twice, three times around and then *crash*, she was on her rear, legs up, for all the world to see…… Not a fun dance had by all!

Needless to say, this is the perfect example of when to say no, which we both did, for the rest of the evening. And yes, we warned all of the other girls, too. Seems Mr. Twirly Man had a bit too much fun at “Alive After Five”, in Boise, before he came dancing. So, I guess the moral to this story is to bring a breath-alizer?

Another really good time to say no is when a “gentleman”, ( I speak the term loosely) is just a bit to “friendly”, dances just a bit too close for comfort, and/or has wandering hands or eyes. If keeping a stiff frame does not seem to do the trick, I’ll share a little tip that I use. I break free from his iron clad hold and say, “This is my dance space, this is YOUR dance space, now, Let’s Dance”! Thank you Baby Houser, (Dirty Dancing, in case you were wondering). If this does not work, I have been known to just simply turn and walk off the dance floor. Ladies, you do not have to put up with inappropriate behavior on, or off, (for that matter) the dance floor!

It doesn’t take too long to establish the un-dancables, and after saying no, three, four and sometimes even five times, they will eventually quit asking and leave you alone. They are a relentless bunch, so do not cave, or they will never leave you alone.

Luckily, this is not a common occurrence since most dancers’ generally drink water, but if you are out, in a bar, on a Friday or Saturday night, be mindful…… you can’t say that you haven’t been warned!

Of course men, I am speaking from my experiences as a “girl”, I am sure you all have your own horror stories, too. Please feel free to share, I would love to hear just how out of control we girls can be. Maybe it will help us keep our P’s and Q’s in check.

Happy Dancing!