Dancers’ do you find yourself sitting on the sidelines watching others dance? If so, there is only one sure fire way to resolve this problem. Get up, walk over to another dancer and ask them to dance. Chances are that they will lead you directly to the dance floor.

In a dance community, asking someone to dance does not imply that you are interested in starting a relationship with that person. It simply means: “I would like to dance”. There are many couples that go social dancing or attend dance conventions together and rarely even dance with each other. Couples, we dancers all thank you for sharing your significant others. We understand that  “A Dance is just A Dance.”

When I first started dancing I was HORRIBLE. I did not have a clue how to dance but, I was determined to learn. I would show up at my local social dances 3-5 nights a week and literally BEG the guys to dance with me. I was unaware that dance classes were even available, so I was at the mercy of anyone that would help me.

During that time, my 3 year old grandson was visiting for 3 weeks. One night he fell asleep watching Shrek, if any of you have kids and have watched the movie you will know exactly what I am about to say. At the end of the movie the little donkey jumps up, over and over saying:  “Pick Me, Pick Me”, I was too tired to get up out of bed and shut it off, so all night long I heard, “Pick Me, Pick Me”!!! The next night at dance, my hand flew up in the air and the words just came out of my mouth: “Pick Me, Pick Me!!!”" From that day forward, I never sat on the sidelines again! As a matter of fact,  as I eventually learned to dance, all it took was one “Pick Me” a night and I rarely left the dance floor. You see, once you get yourself out there on the dance floor, chances are that you will find your next dance while still there. So dancers, feel free to use my mantra and ask them to “Pick You.” Do not be afraid to ask someone to dance and if you must turn someone down, do it politely. There are legitimate reasons for saying no.

Positioning is also very important. Do not hide in the corner or sit at the back of the room. Stand near the dance floor and look like you WANT to dance. Watch where the dancers are entering and exiting the floor and remember that they are there to dance, just like you. I know that it is often difficult to ask a dancer that is more experienced than yourself, but if you truly want to become a better dancer, you’re going to have to be brave and do it! In retrospect, if you are a more experienced dancer, try to “remember when” and occasionally ask a lower level dancer to dance. Let’s all dance together and build a strong healthy dance community.

Bottom line: if you are sitting on the sidelines, you have only yourself to blame. You must be brave, suck it up and ask someone to dance!

Today I am going to bring up a rather touchy subject that has been
brought to my attention. I feel that it is worth mentioning and
realize that this does not pertain to most people. So please do not

situation that may occur while out dancing.

Dancing is a great social activity and a great way to make new
friends. Occasionally you may run across people that are there for
the wrong reason. The “wrong” reason that I am talking about today,
is one that can cause a lot of grief to men and women alike.
Sometimes men or women frequent dance activities simply to
“hook-up” with a member of the opposite sex. Sometimes for just the
night and sometimes for a week or more. There are people that can almost
become stalker-ish and will take advantage of a dancers’ social etiquette.

As dancers’ it is rare to turn down a dance when asked. However, if
the person asking takes advantage of you during or after that
dance, you have every right to refuse to dance with them again.

It is not uncommon that a beginning dancer can become a target. A
more experienced dancer with the wrong intent may prey upon a
beginning dancer by offering to spend time teaching them to dance.
They may then suggest getting together before or after dancing
hours. This may result in a short term “relationship” that often
ends badly with the beginning dancer disappearing from the dance
community either out of humiliation or embarrassment or just not
wanting to face the other person. The person doing the preying

the next, often quite quickly.

We must all take responsibility for ourselves. You can count on
being approached in ways that make you uncomfortable if you are a
social dancer that is out several nights a week. Be strong and
listen to your inner voice. Do not open the door, even a crack, if
you are uncomfortable in any way. These people are relentless and
oblivious to your caution or discomfort. Stick up for yourself and
take responsibility. Learn to say No. This can also happen during
group classes. Remember that it is your own responsibility, not the
the instructors, to safeguard yourself. Those of you that attend
classes with the intent to “hook-up”……..Knock it Off!

I know that these types of occurrences happen in all areas of life,
but as a dancer, I also know that when left to fester it seriously
effects our dancing community!

I promise happy thoughts next time!

Happy and safe dancing,
Michele

One of the most difficult things for me about social dancing, and I am talking about “organized club” dancing in my area, is that no matter what type music is played, most (ok, almost ALL) dancers still just dance West Coast Swing. It is so hard for me to just do West Coast Swing when the DJ is playing a Cha Cha or Hustle. Even if you can find a fellow Hustle dancer you will have a difficult time “doing the Hustle” as the West Coast Swing dancers get annoyed if you use too much floor space! UHG! Same applies to Cha Cha……oh, well, I guess some dancers prefer to only dance one dance………..what a shame, because the other dances are equally just as much fun!

Do you attend a lot of dance classes and work shops? Is your dancing improving or staying at the same level? Are you learning new things and find that you can’t remember them the next day?

Well, here is my definitive opinion, for what it’s worth.

One: You are not listening and trying to apply what you are learning in class.

Two: You are not social dancing.

Three: You are not practicing on your own time.

Four: Maybe you need a different instructor, one that you connect with.

Five: Maybe you just don’t care.

Six: Maybe you think you already know it all.

Seven: Maybe you should take up tennis!

And maybe I need to get out of the house and go dancing!

The New Year started with a bang, or should I say a splash or two, or three, of champagne, while dancing the night away at the Palm Springs Swing Dance Classic. After five days of dancing and workshops, Ras #1 and I have so much to talk about, that we have actually been in a “quandary” (not to be mistaken for “at a loss of words”), as where to begin. So, rather than sit and stew, I thought I would just pull one subject out of the hat……hmmm……what is it going to be? I suppose that I will talk about the subject that stands out the most, and that would be………how one dancer can make another dancer feel. I’m not just talking about whether or not you were able to follow or lead during you dance or whether or not you were making eye contact with your partner while dancing with them, but were you smiling? And I am talking about smiling from the inside out. As a dancer, I can tell you that I can “feel” another dancers’ smile!

For those of you who are new to dancing, it is important to make eye contact with your dance partner, while not staring at them. Dancing with a partner who either stares at you, or at the opposite extreme looks at everyone else, on and off the dance floor, with the exception of you, is very uncomfortable. Focusing on your partner while you are dancing increases your awareness of how they’re moving and what they are doing and makes your partner feel like you are actually part of a dance team. In addition to focusing on your partner………smile! Social dancing should be fun. A snobby, arrogant attitude based upon anything, including your superior dance skills (if they indeed exist), is inconsiderate and very intimidating, particularly to a beginner. Considering how passionate dancers are about dancing, we should be doing everything in our power to encourage others to discover the joy that can be achieved from dancing. Joy, now that is an interesting word…it may sound like corny verbiage attached to dancing, but Ras #1 and I are here to tell you……………..dancing is pure “Joy”. The more we dance…..the more joy we experience and the more we want to dance. Yes, it is a vicious, addictive cycle!

One more thing I want to add is….….when you have a genuine smile on your face, your parnter “feels” it, not just “sees” it, it’s like putting the icing on the cake.

We danced with one particular gentleman in Palm Springs, who we’d previously met and danced with. I am here to tell you that dancing with Mark is simply, pure joy! Every dance that man dances, he smiles, with his entire being! It is as though he is dancing the best dance he has ever danced! Dancing with him is pure “joy”. That is the kind of partner we aspire to be, the kind of partner that everyone should aspire to be!

Happy New Year and Enjoy,

Ras#2