Sometimes the best dance of the night comes from the least suspecting partner! While attending the Fresno Dance Classic, I asked a young man in a ball cap to dance. My bad, I didn’t introduce myself before asking him to dance, sorry about that JD. Luckily, even tough he introduced himself to me, I did not realize that he was a Champion dancer! Had I known, I would never have asked, and would have been terrified to dance with him.

As it turned out, it was the best dance of the weekend for me! It wasn’t until we had established a connection and danced through the basics  that he ramped up the material and led me through some of the most amazing 2 Step patterns that I have ever danced!

My saving grace was that I kept my basic rhythm and timing of the dance, my arms relaxed and my lats engaged so he could lead me, and my mind focused! Sometimes I even amaze myself!

Dancers’ do you find yourself sitting on the sidelines watching others dance? If so, there is only one sure fire way to resolve this problem. Get up, walk over to another dancer and ask them to dance. Chances are that they will lead you directly to the dance floor.

In a dance community, asking someone to dance does not imply that you are interested in starting a relationship with that person. It simply means: “I would like to dance”. There are many couples that go social dancing or attend dance conventions together and rarely even dance with each other. Couples, we dancers all thank you for sharing your significant others. We understand that  “A Dance is just A Dance.”

When I first started dancing I was HORRIBLE. I did not have a clue how to dance but, I was determined to learn. I would show up at my local social dances 3-5 nights a week and literally BEG the guys to dance with me. I was unaware that dance classes were even available, so I was at the mercy of anyone that would help me.

During that time, my 3 year old grandson was visiting for 3 weeks. One night he fell asleep watching Shrek, if any of you have kids and have watched the movie you will know exactly what I am about to say. At the end of the movie the little donkey jumps up, over and over saying:  “Pick Me, Pick Me”, I was too tired to get up out of bed and shut it off, so all night long I heard, “Pick Me, Pick Me”!!! The next night at dance, my hand flew up in the air and the words just came out of my mouth: “Pick Me, Pick Me!!!”" From that day forward, I never sat on the sidelines again! As a matter of fact,  as I eventually learned to dance, all it took was one “Pick Me” a night and I rarely left the dance floor. You see, once you get yourself out there on the dance floor, chances are that you will find your next dance while still there. So dancers, feel free to use my mantra and ask them to “Pick You.” Do not be afraid to ask someone to dance and if you must turn someone down, do it politely. There are legitimate reasons for saying no.

Positioning is also very important. Do not hide in the corner or sit at the back of the room. Stand near the dance floor and look like you WANT to dance. Watch where the dancers are entering and exiting the floor and remember that they are there to dance, just like you. I know that it is often difficult to ask a dancer that is more experienced than yourself, but if you truly want to become a better dancer, you’re going to have to be brave and do it! In retrospect, if you are a more experienced dancer, try to “remember when” and occasionally ask a lower level dancer to dance. Let’s all dance together and build a strong healthy dance community.

Bottom line: if you are sitting on the sidelines, you have only yourself to blame. You must be brave, suck it up and ask someone to dance!

Today I am going to bring up a rather touchy subject that has been
brought to my attention. I feel that it is worth mentioning and
realize that this does not pertain to most people. So please do not

situation that may occur while out dancing.

Dancing is a great social activity and a great way to make new
friends. Occasionally you may run across people that are there for
the wrong reason. The “wrong” reason that I am talking about today,
is one that can cause a lot of grief to men and women alike.
Sometimes men or women frequent dance activities simply to
“hook-up” with a member of the opposite sex. Sometimes for just the
night and sometimes for a week or more. There are people that can almost
become stalker-ish and will take advantage of a dancers’ social etiquette.

As dancers’ it is rare to turn down a dance when asked. However, if
the person asking takes advantage of you during or after that
dance, you have every right to refuse to dance with them again.

It is not uncommon that a beginning dancer can become a target. A
more experienced dancer with the wrong intent may prey upon a
beginning dancer by offering to spend time teaching them to dance.
They may then suggest getting together before or after dancing
hours. This may result in a short term “relationship” that often
ends badly with the beginning dancer disappearing from the dance
community either out of humiliation or embarrassment or just not
wanting to face the other person. The person doing the preying

the next, often quite quickly.

We must all take responsibility for ourselves. You can count on
being approached in ways that make you uncomfortable if you are a
social dancer that is out several nights a week. Be strong and
listen to your inner voice. Do not open the door, even a crack, if
you are uncomfortable in any way. These people are relentless and
oblivious to your caution or discomfort. Stick up for yourself and
take responsibility. Learn to say No. This can also happen during
group classes. Remember that it is your own responsibility, not the
the instructors, to safeguard yourself. Those of you that attend
classes with the intent to “hook-up”……..Knock it Off!

I know that these types of occurrences happen in all areas of life,
but as a dancer, I also know that when left to fester it seriously
effects our dancing community!

I promise happy thoughts next time!

Happy and safe dancing,
Michele

Who would ever have thought that dancing could be dangerous! Not to mention what happened to Misty Trainer, dancing can be dangerous to even the average everyday dancer. There we were, Friday night at our usual Honky Tonk, trying to get in just one good two-step (sometimes expectations can just run too high!). Unfortunately that was not in the cards that night and after a couple of mediocre west coat swings, we took to the dance floor for some free-styling. HOLEY MOLEY!

The floor was full of swing dancers (I use that term loosely) all of whom seemed to have no clue about, let alone desire, watching where they were moving themselves or their partner on the dance floor. If we hadn’t been paying attention ourselves, we would surely have been decked numerous times. Even after shoving one guy I know fairly well to avoid having my feet crushed, he continued to failed to take appropriate measures to occupy only his designated space. Then there what some other guy (I’m assuming, for his sake, was inebriated) who kept throwing himself onto the ground and flailing wildly. The fact that not of those blind swing dancers accidentally stepped on and crushed his sorry head was a true miracle. After a couple of those danger-ridden, damage–avoidin, free-style dances, we were forced to call it quits for the night. And, sad to say once again, the cheeseburger we shared was the highlight of our night!

So please, all you leaders, remember……..it is your responsibility to make sure no-one is in the dancing path of you or your partner! It makes dancing so much more enjoyable when you don’t have to spend your time doing damage control!

Beer Goggles

While it is proper etiquette to dance when asked, there are appropriate times when it is all right to politely decline. In other words, it’s OK, to say no. Generally you wouldn’t say no, just because someone is less experienced than you, or you don’t like the outfit they have on, or even if they have bad breath. (although you might want to share a mint or two) But it is perfectly acceptable to say no if someone has had too much to drink, or if they are inappropriate in any way.

I have had the good fortune to experience both of these happy occasions. One night, not long ago, down at the local honky tonk, a “regular” asked me to dance. Now this particular dude, is a fan of seeing just how many rotations he can get a lady to do, during one song. Kind of like the tea cups at Disneyland. The first time I actually danced with him, I got off the dance floor and was so nauseated that I had to go home. Now however, I can spin like a top. But back to the valid reason to just say “no”: Within a few seconds into our dance, I realized that Mr. Twirly Man was having a bit of a problem standing on his own two feet. Fortunately for me, I figured this out rather quickly and was able to do damage control and self preservation well enough to walk us both off the dance floor in one piece, no injuries.

Ras #2 (Cindy) was not quite so lucky………..I saw Mr. Twirly Man heading right towards her, before I could maneuver my way across the room to warn her, it was too late, and there they were, right in the middle of the dance floor….. I feared for the worst and was not disappointed (ok, evil side of me)….. Once, twice, three times around and then *crash*, she was on her rear, legs up, for all the world to see…… Not a fun dance had by all!

Needless to say, this is the perfect example of when to say no, which we both did, for the rest of the evening. And yes, we warned all of the other girls, too. Seems Mr. Twirly Man had a bit too much fun at “Alive After Five”, in Boise, before he came dancing. So, I guess the moral to this story is to bring a breath-alizer?

Another really good time to say no is when a “gentleman”, ( I speak the term loosely) is just a bit to “friendly”, dances just a bit too close for comfort, and/or has wandering hands or eyes. If keeping a stiff frame does not seem to do the trick, I’ll share a little tip that I use. I break free from his iron clad hold and say, “This is my dance space, this is YOUR dance space, now, Let’s Dance”! Thank you Baby Houser, (Dirty Dancing, in case you were wondering). If this does not work, I have been known to just simply turn and walk off the dance floor. Ladies, you do not have to put up with inappropriate behavior on, or off, (for that matter) the dance floor!

It doesn’t take too long to establish the un-dancables, and after saying no, three, four and sometimes even five times, they will eventually quit asking and leave you alone. They are a relentless bunch, so do not cave, or they will never leave you alone.

Luckily, this is not a common occurrence since most dancers’ generally drink water, but if you are out, in a bar, on a Friday or Saturday night, be mindful…… you can’t say that you haven’t been warned!

Of course men, I am speaking from my experiences as a “girl”, I am sure you all have your own horror stories, too. Please feel free to share, I would love to hear just how out of control we girls can be. Maybe it will help us keep our P’s and Q’s in check.

Happy Dancing!