Ballroom Dance Frame and a Weak Lead.
I recently received an email regarding Dance Frame and a Weak Lead, and know that it expresses the problems of many, so I thought that I would answer it here.
HELP!
My husband and I have always had a problem with his “weak” lead. Even though we are in a closed position, I find that I am doing the steps myself because I don’t feel his leading. This sometimes causes conflict because then he asks if I KNOW what I’m doing or he says I’m leading.
I’ve tried to explain how important his right hand positioned on my left shoulder blade (or just beneath) is. But most of the time I can barely feel it. Then he tries to drag me around with his left arm. It certainly doesn’t make for a fun time.
What can we do to make this a better situation?
Thanks!
Dear Confused on which way to go……..vs…..going THIS way NOW!
This one’s for all of you that are a bit confused on which way to go, and desperate to find the connection! A weak lead is sometimes the fault of familiarity. If you dance mostly with one partner, you can both become so familiar with each other, that you become a bit “lazy” or “relaxed”. You begin to “know”, or think that you “know” what the other person is going to do, enabling a weak lead, even in a closed dance frame.
What can you do to help correct this problem?
First of all, do you only dance with each other, or do you belong to some sort of club where you have the opportunity to dance with others? If you haven’t branched out and danced with others, I encourage you to do so. Seek out others with a passion for dance and broaden your dance experience. Look for your local USA Dance Chapter, or Swing Dance Club. This will enlighten and empower you as a dancer. Each of you will have to totally depend upon a new persons’ lead and follow. Without the anticipation that comes from the familiarity of dancing with someone that you are accustom to, a leader will truly have to “lead”, (or the follower will have no clue what she is supposed to do) and a follower will have to respond to only what is led, not what they “think” is being led. It is likely to be an eye opening experience for the both of you.
Secondly, if you are already dancing with others, or that is not an option, what you CAN do (if your partner is willing) is have him lead you through an entire dance with your eyes closed. This can be scary…….but is VERY effective! No peeking!
You must also settle in, and “fill his hand”. Just keep looking for that connection until he returns it. (do not lean back to achieve this) I have been known to keep backing up until the follower stops me. This usually causes a wide eyed expression, as in Whoa! But it usually works.
A good way for you to practice is to place your left hand against a wall and press outward, with your shoulder blade, not your hand. Create a “handle”, tell him to feel for it, and to hold on! And once you find that connection, have him lead you with only his right hand, completely from the connection on your back. This is also difficult, but very good practice. He should be able to lead you through an entire dance with just that connection. Our instructors at LearntoBallroomDanceOnline are very thorough when explaining the lead.
Another thing to try, which may be difficult, is to ONLY react when led, do NOT respond to a weak lead, even if you “know” what you are supposed to do. If you don’t feel the lead……….DON’T respond, just keep doing what you are doing until the lead is distinct. This all takes practice and is a very difficult balance, one that I am sure that you both can master.
The MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is to keep it lighthearted and FUN! Dancing is meant to be a joy, not a stress in your life. I am sure that you will come up with some creative way to humor your guy into becoming a better leader!
Please keep me posted, and let me know your progress, and any creative ideas that you come up with.
Happy Dancing,
Michele@learntoballroomdanceonline.com
