Today I am going to bring up a rather touchy subject that has been
brought to my attention. I feel that it is worth mentioning and
realize that this does not pertain to most people. So please do not
take offense, I am not pointing fingers just pointing out a
situation that may occur while out dancing.
Dancing is a great social activity and a great way to make new
friends. Occasionally you may run across people that are there for
the wrong reason. The “wrong” reason that I am talking about today,
is one that can cause a lot of grief to men and women alike.
Sometimes men or women frequent dance activities simply to
“hook-up” with a member of the opposite sex. Sometimes for just the
night and sometimes for a week or more. There are people that can almost
become stalker-ish and will take advantage of a dancers’ social etiquette.
As dancers’ it is rare to turn down a dance when asked. However, if
the person asking takes advantage of you during or after that
dance, you have every right to refuse to dance with them again.
It is not uncommon that a beginning dancer can become a target. A
more experienced dancer with the wrong intent may prey upon a
beginning dancer by offering to spend time teaching them to dance.
They may then suggest getting together before or after dancing
hours. This may result in a short term “relationship” that often
ends badly with the beginning dancer disappearing from the dance
community either out of humiliation or embarrassment or just not
wanting to face the other person. The person doing the preying
does not seem to be affected as they move on from one person to
the next, often quite quickly.
We must all take responsibility for ourselves. You can count on
being approached in ways that make you uncomfortable if you are a
social dancer that is out several nights a week. Be strong and
listen to your inner voice. Do not open the door, even a crack, if
you are uncomfortable in any way. These people are relentless and
oblivious to your caution or discomfort. Stick up for yourself and
take responsibility. Learn to say No. This can also happen during
group classes. Remember that it is your own responsibility, not the
the instructors, to safeguard yourself. Those of you that attend
classes with the intent to “hook-up”……..Knock it Off!
I know that these types of occurrences happen in all areas of life,
but as a dancer, I also know that when left to fester it seriously
effects our dancing community!
I promise happy thoughts next time!
Happy and safe dancing,
Michele