Sometimes You Should Just Say “No”!
2013 May 18
While it is proper etiquette to dance when asked, there are appropriate times when it is all right to politely decline. In other words, it’s OK, to say no. Generally you wouldn’t say no, just because someone is less experienced than you, or you don’t like the outfit they have on, or even if they have bad breath. (although you might want to share a mint or two) But it is perfectly acceptable to say no if someone has had too much to drink, or if they are inappropriate in any way.
I have had the good fortune to experience both of these happy occasions. One night, not long ago, down at the local honky tonk, a “regular” asked me to dance. Now this particular dude, is a fan of seeing just how many rotations he can get a lady to do, during one song. Kind of like the tea cups at Disneyland. The first time I actually danced with him, I got off the dance floor and was so nauseated that I had to go home. Now however, I can spin like a top. But back to the valid reason to just say “no”: Within a few seconds into our dance, I realized that Mr. Twirly Man was having a bit of a problem standing on his own two feet. Fortunately for me, I figured this out rather quickly and was able to do damage control and self preservation well enough to walk us both off the dance floor in one piece, no injuries.
Ras #2 (Cindy) was not quite so lucky………..I saw Mr. Twirly Man heading right towards her, before I could maneuver my way across the room to warn her, it was too late, and there they were, right in the middle of the dance floor….. I feared for the worst and was not disappointed (ok, evil side of me)….. Once, twice, three times around and then *crash*, she was on her rear, legs up, for all the world to see…… Not a fun dance had by all!
Needless to say, this is the perfect example of when to say no, which we both did, for the rest of the evening. And yes, we warned all of the other girls, too. Seems Mr. Twirly Man had a bit too much fun at “Alive After Five”, in Boise, before he came dancing. So, I guess the moral to this story is to bring a breath-alizer?
Another really good time to say no is when a “gentleman”, ( I speak the term loosely) is just a bit to “friendly”, dances just a bit too close for comfort, and/or has wandering hands or eyes. If keeping a stiff frame does not seem to do the trick, I’ll share a little tip that I use. I break free from his iron clad hold and say, “This is my dance space, this is YOUR dance space, now, Let’s Dance”! Thank you Baby Houser, (Dirty Dancing, in case you were wondering). If this does not work, I have been known to just simply turn and walk off the dance floor. Ladies, you do not have to put up with inappropriate behavior on, or off, (for that matter) the dance floor!
It doesn’t take too long to establish the un-dancables, and after saying no, three, four and sometimes even five times, they will eventually quit asking and leave you alone. They are a relentless bunch, so do not cave, or they will never leave you alone.
Luckily, this is not a common occurrence since most dancers’ generally drink water, but if you are out, in a bar, on a Friday or Saturday night, be mindful…… you can’t say that you haven’t been warned!
Of course men, I am speaking from my experiences as a “girl”, I am sure you all have your own horror stories, too. Please feel free to share, I would love to hear just how out of control we girls can be. Maybe it will help us keep our P’s and Q’s in check.